Fair warning to all the people I know - if you go out to a restaurant with me, anything you say or do could end up being a blog topic. Just fair warning. Just kidding. I always ask permission before posting. It happened at breakfast with Tori and Marcie and a conversation that started innocent and playful. We were analyzing each other’s personalities. Tori, a doctor, is the analytical, introspective one with a dry sense of humor. Marcie, the former event planner, is the fun-loving, organized one who made me chuckle once when she handed me an itinerary for a baby shower we hosted together that had me leading a game at 12:02 pm. Then there is me. It's hard to analyze yourself, but I would rather drop any household chore and go out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner to talk. Some people would say I'm a time- waster. I say I'm a people-person. I am also the one who is frantically picking up laundry off the dining room table when people come to my house to appear like I have it together. We all admitted to doing this.
I have known these women for over two years now. They are dear to me because I have seen the messy parts of their lives and they have seen mine. I have walked in on Marcie when she was frantically cleaning up dog poop on the hardwood floors of the front office of her home. I have waited patiently for Tori while her youngest child threw a fit that couldn't be controlled. They have seen me bald after surgery and have stood by me when I did not feel so positive about life.
Tori so eloquently described our relationship for us that morning at breakfast. “We have let each other into the beautiful parts of our lives beneath the surface.” The reason I am such good friends with these two women is because I have seen Marcie clean up dog poop, I have observed Tori’s fit throwing child, and they have seen me cry not looking my best - the beautiful parts.
Your friendships will stay surface if you only let people in the front door of your house when it is spotless, when you have taken a shower with makeup on, when your family members are all behaving. Those are all goals for which we strive, but life is messy. It's the messiness of life that connects us, not perfection or putting up a perfect image.
On a rainy, dreary Thursday morning, three friends sat in a restaurant and shared their lives, not their accomplishments or successes. No. The beautiful parts-